There’s a New Twelve Year Old in our Family

Dear Nicholas (yes, I can still call you that instead of Nick – I gave you life, it’s a rule),

I can’t believe it has already been twelve years since you were born and put into my arms for the very first time.  The labor was hell (I was blessed with back labor for you and your brother), the pushing sucked, and you had a large head, well large for emerging-into-the-world standards anyway.  I’m pretty sure they heard me throughout the entitre hospital each time I pushed due to the delightful pain from squeezing you and your baby self through parts that just aren’t meant for things that size to appear from. 
Come to think of it, I should have invited local teenaged girls into the delivery room – great birth control, don’t you think?

I am proud now to say that I labored without any drugs at all.  Let me tell you something, though, that only sounds good after the fact because at the time, it’s just plain insane, but so worth it once they put you in my arms and I looked into your little eyes.  From that moment on I always did my best to protect you from harm, you made me laugh, you made me cry, and mostly you made me proud to be your Mom.
Some of what I hope for you:

  • Find courage when you don’t feel particularly brave
  • Stay true to yourself and be confident in who you are and what you want accomplish
  • Gain more compassion for others around you – I know it’s tough to have a big brother with autism, but always remember he loves you and he didn’t choose autism.
  • Always be kind and generous to others – giving feels way better than receiving, I promise.
  • I hope that you someday realize cliques don’t matter……when you’re an adult.

Mainly, I want you to feel true love, laugh a lot, and find your true passion in life and don’t ever let it go.  Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t.  And if they do, prove them wrong.

Happy 12th Birthday kiddo!


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