My son says I’m too positive

About a week ago while driving the kids to school, Nick suddenly declared that I always have to find something positive in every situation and that it’s annoying. I actually paused for a minute and thought about what he said, taking into account that he’s not at all a morning person and was rather grumpy that particular day. First, I was surprised because while I do think it’s very important to find and try to focus on the positive in even the most challenging of situations, I didn’t realize I did it that much. Certainly not enough to be annoying, right? How could a positive outlook be annoying? Well, according to Nick, when you want to feel down or upset it doesn’t help when someone else is trying to be all cheery and happy. I agree with him, for the most part. Sometimes I just want to scream, cry, or shake my fist at the universe, especially recently, because we are struggling to simply survive right now due to the fact that my husband is unemployed and the only check we have is the one coming from unemployment benefits. Thankfully, we have that check. (Oops, that would probably annoy Nick) I think every now and then it’s perfectly fine to be upset about your situation. It’s human. Quite frankly, I find it more wrong if someone is constantly only ever positive and happy and smiling. Life is hard sometimes. There’s unemployment, the death of a loved one, or whatever something you might find to be a challenge in your own life. I will say, though, that dwelling isn’t good for our psychological well being and it’s certainly not going to make things any better. Right now the financial struggle that we face due to this unemployment happen to be our biggest challenge . I’ve cried about it, I’ve gotten angry about it, but I’ve also dug deep to find some of the positives as we make our way through, and eventually out, of this current situation.

  • Being at home as a family, especially on the weekends. With Paul’s profession, weekends are and were a must. This was always difficult, especially for the kids during the school year. Now, though, we have weekends together to play games, drive to visit our favorite family members, or just take a walk. No amount of money can take the place of that.
  • We’ve saved a lot of money on gas for our car. Paul used to commute thirty minutes each way to his prior job, sometimes for split shifts (I know, such a considerate boss, right?), leading to expensive and frequent trips to the gas pump. Now, though, we drive to the grocery store a couple of minutes away and about the same distance to bring the kids to school. Granted, we have far less income, but having to pay for less gas has certainly been a positive I can’t ignore.
  • We are all healthy. Seriously, this one is so important. I’m truly grateful that we eat well and are all pretty active and none of us is on any medications or in need of regular medical care. Of all that we are going through, this is something we have a great deal of control over so we are making it a priority.
  • We have some of the most amazing and supportive friends and family. I can’t express how much it means to get a phone call or an email, or a surprise greeting card in the mailbox from someone sending words of encouragement or just checking in to see how we’re doing. Oh, and the online friend support is pretty wonderful, too. Tweets, DMs, private messages…..they all mean so much to me, especially if I’m having a day where I’m the one who needs someone to offer some positive words. I’m so grateful.
  • I need to go back to the one about having weekends together because I forgot what makes those so darn fantastic. No alarm clock to set. I used to have to set my alarm clock literally seven days a week between school days for the kids and work days for Paul. So yeah, no alarm clock on the weekend is something to absolutely cheer about.

Okay, it’s probably a good thing that Nick doesn’t read my blog because if he did he might be thoroughly annoyed right now, but I’m not sorry. I’d rather he remember that his Mom always tried to find the good in every situation than to have memories of a woman who was filled with negativity and constant sadness. I’ll keep doing what I’m doing because I love him and his brother and because it helps my sanity, but also because I truly believe in the things I say. There is always something positive to be found in every situation. If we just dig deep enough.


  1. Hello there!

    I’m so glad I stumbled on to this post through the NaBloPoMo site, it was a good read. I don’t think it’s wrong at all to look at the positive side all the time. I do it a lot and it seems that those around me seem to find another negative thing to say, to which I will just reply with, “That sucks then.” Not positive, but if it just keeps going back and forth, I find no reason to keep pressing it.

    Your son will find it annoying, true. But you’re right in thinking that he will remember you for it, and that’s a wonderful thing to remember about a person. And I think you’d get a memorable reaction from your son if he WERE to read your blog, haha.
    Kim recently posted..{NaBloPoMo #3} Forever and AlwaysMy Profile

    • Thank you so much for the comment Kim. I agree that some people are simply negative by choice and no matter what you say they will (un)intentionally try to bring you down with them. Those people are exhausting and make me a little sad. I’m hoping that gradually my son will make a shift and become the one to find glimpses(at least) of positive in everything in life.

  2. I’m an admitted optimist married to a pessimist. I probably annoy him a lot, too. But, it’s so much easier to get through the hard times when you can find the silver lining! Glad I found your site!

    • Thanks so much for stopping by. I think your husband is very lucky to have you and hopefully you can rub off a little on him. I wouldn’t say my husband is necessarily a pessimist, but an avoider. He likes to joke his way through the hard times, which isn’t always a bad thing.

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