Having a Brother with Autism – What I Wish for Cody & Nick

Having a Brother with Autism

Photo Credit: Ellie Curtis

On an almost daily basis I think about my hopes and dreams for Cody and Nick. Not only the wishes I have for each of them individually, but also for their connection as brothers. I know it can be really difficult for Nick because Cody isn’t necessarily the big brother he needs or wants sometimes, but I hope that someday he’ll come to appreciate him for the many gifts he has to offer. Right now, though, Nick is sixteen years old and I can definitely recognize that things are tough enough when you’re a teenager without the added stress it can sometimes bring having a brother with autism, so I try not to be too hard on him. I know in my heart he is doing the best he can with what he’s been dealt and I also know that when it comes right down to it his number one priority is to protect his brother no matter what. I feel so privileged to be their mom and I look forward to watching their bond grow and deepen in the years to come. Seeing their relationship strengthen is actually my deepest wish and biggest hope, even more so than any I could have for myself and that is just one of the reasons I love this video so much. It was made by a young man named Spencer who wanted to share how amazing it can be to have a big brother with autism and I think it’s not only a wonderful tribute to his brother Mitchel and the unique bond they share, but also a really powerful way to let other kids like Nick know they are not alone. Even though it can be really tough to have a sibling with special needs, it can also be really amazing if you’re able to focus more on the positives and less on the challenges, which is what I wish for Nick and for all other brothers and sisters who might be struggling with something similar. I have a pretty good feeling that Spencer and Mitchel can help with that.


  1. Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says

    Someday they will best friends. It sounds like they have an amazing bond already.

  2. I too grew up with an autistic brother and I have learned such empathy. We also have a Granddaughter who is autistic and I watch her Sister and see how difficult it is for her. I sincerely hope they can become closer as they grow.
    Monica Maloney Heidler recently posted..Mardi Gras with the GirlfriendsMy Profile

    • Thank you so much for your comment, Monica. Cody has taught ME so much, too, including empathy and compassion. He is truly such a gift and I hope as they get older his brother will see it, too. I hope the same for your granddaughters.

  3. sounds like they are already best friends as well as brothers. I have no doubt they will take on whatever life has in store for them.
    Rebecca Bryant recently posted..BOOK & A CUPPA SWAP REVEAL #Gifts #FunMy Profile

  4. We have two children left at home and our 15 year old son is autistic. It definitely presents some really interested and sometimes difficult challenges. But it is also hard for our ten year old daughter. They fight like most brothers and sisters and some days she has the greatest patience with him. But other days she doesn’t have a bit of patience and it is hard. His feelings get hurt and he doesn’t understand what he is doing wrong and she gets angry because she feels he should understand it. Most times however, she understands his limitations and finds a way to make it all work. And God forbid she feels anyone is picking on him, teasing him or losing patience with him – they will suffer her wrath and let me tell you, it can be horrid!
    Athena recently posted..It’s Time For My Valentine’s Day Gift Guide #MySweetStory #CGMy Profile

    • Thank you for the comment, Athena. It sounds like your daughter will be an amazing adult, both with her older brother and any other person with special needs that she might encounter. Autism can be so very frustrating, but I also believe it’s a gift. P.S. NOBODY messes with a sibling except for other siblings. That’s totally a law I think. 😉

  5. My cousin is autistic and I have to admit I find his utterly fascinating.
    To see his world from my eyes just doesn’t do it justice.
    I have worked with autistic children in the past and I have learn the most from them.

    • It’s so wonderful that you recognize how much can be learned from a person with autism. They do see the world so differently and sometimes I just love and take it all in from Cody’s point of view.

  6. Autistic children do have a talent of their own. Sometimes we can learn so much from people….things we would have never have thought of ourselves.
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  7. That is great that they have each other. Family support is so important, definitely helps!

  8. What a beautiful story! Family can really make all the difference in success in life through the greatest obstacles.
    Keikilani recently posted..AD Mom Survival with Six Kids, Snacks, & Walmart Family Mobile PLUSMy Profile

  9. My 11yr old is austic and his 15yr old brother gets so annoyed by him at times. He needs to see this video because I know that they’ll get better as the years go by just like I’m sure your boys will.
    Amanda Love recently posted..Be Yourself on Social MediaMy Profile

    • Oh Amanda, I hope your son appreciates the video, but if not I bet his attitude will change as he gets older because being a teenager is tough all on its own. I’m personally going to try to remember to send this video to Nick in about 5 years and every 5 after that if needed. 😉

  10. I am a teacher and we have inclusive classrooms. I am learning a lot about autism and the bonds these kids form. I truly hope they see the gift they are to each other
    LauraFunk recently posted..Marvel Universe LiveMy Profile

    • Thank you, Laura! I love to hear your classrooms are inclusive because kids with autism have so much to offer and to teach us, and their peers.

  11. I love this post. You shared so freely. A friend of mine has a son with autism and she has up days and down days. I am sending her this post.
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  12. How very sweet, and yes the brother bond is an amazing one. My two grown boys are so very close, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  13. This is such a beautiful tribute. Siblings can be the closest people to us. I am lucky and have a very special bond with my 3 siblings. They’ve been there since the very beginning and know me best. Like Spencer, I’m so grateful for my siblings.
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  14. What a sweet post. Your son’s relationship is inspiring. You truly are lucky to be their mom 😉
    Tonya C recently posted..Love is in the Air! The Ultimate Valentine’s Day Round-UpMy Profile

  15. To have a sibling you can count on is the best gift in the world!

  16. It is important for siblings to develop good and strong relationships with one another. This is especially important when one of the siblings has a condition like autism that presents special life challenges.
    Janeane Davis recently posted..Mother To Son – Suck it Up and MoveMy Profile

  17. Yeah having a brother like a friend, a brother really good at all in fun, enjoy, in hard times, and in work also so I was in my office and my brother gifts me the best big and tall office chairs I was so happy when he gifts like a brother of mine I wish that everyone must have like my brother. thanks, buddy.

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