Whenever I see a father/daughter team on The Amazing Race (it’s a reality show, you never watched those)…..
On the occasion (usually your birthday and sometimes on random weekends) Paul purchases your favorite brand of beer….
The sound of a motorcycle roaring down the street on a hot summer day….
A sharp looking Corvette……
When Pandora gives me a Donna Summer or Tina Turner song and I just have to turn up the volume….
Those are just a few of the things that still remind me of you and how very much you are missed. Every now and then I stop what I’m doing and close my eyes real tight as I play your voice in my head and remember your handsome (and somewhat hairy) face, the way they were before a brain tumor invaded your body. Although we can’t physically hug you and take you to lunch or give you a Father’s Day gift, you’re influence on our lives is still very strong and present. Sometimes it’s in the way that Paul imitates your voice while saying some of the silliest quotes that were unique to you. Or in the fact that Nick was given your name as his middle name long before we ever imagined such a horrible diagnosis would forever change our family. I smile that you are with Cody in his love of the color red as it was your favorite color as well. It’s possibly most strongly present in the way that I live with an attitude of not giving a damn what anybody else thinks (most of the time) because you taught me being yourself is the only way to be.
While days crept into weeks, then months turned into years without you here, we still miss you more than words can express, but most importantly, we haven’t forgotten you and we never will. I can only hope you are looking down on us with pride in the way we live our lives.
Happy Father’s Day, Dad…….Grampy.
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