A Shocking New Year’s Resolution: Lose Weight

When I first started this blog my main goal was to share my knowledge about living a greener lifestyle. Obvious by the name, I know, but still. So, now I am realizing there is so much I want to write about and share when it comes to my family and the day to day adventures that we call life. Mostly, this desire has started in the last couple of weeks, plus constantly coming up with something strictly green to write about was becoming a bit of a challenge.

I started this year with a post about the first of my New Year’s resolutions. I actually hate calling it that because I think we can resolve to change or improve things at any time during the year, but due to the peer pressure, I decided on a few. My next one may be the most common made and, ultimately broken of all resolutions. I am going to lose weight. I mean it this time! I already eat a really healthy diet(I do indulge once in a while), but the biggest challenge, especially during the winter, seems to be the exercise part! I have found a few different workouts to vary things so far and that is what I need because I can bore pretty easily. There is a bit of advice in that last statement. I don’t consider myself an expert, but I would strongly suggest you have different workouts to rotate through to avoid giving up completely due to boredom.

This is a resolution that definitely needs some sort of motivation or a “prize” at the end of it. For me, it will be lookin‘ trim and gorgeous for my 20th high school reunion. I know, I know….if you have seen pictures of me, you would say I can’t possibly have been out of school for 20 years. It is true, though, really! More motivation….your children should NOT weigh less than you do! This is wrong! My 15 year old SON, who is TALLER than me, weighs less than me. Not cool! I don’t know where that little shit got his metabolism, but it sure wasn’t from me or his father. So, secretly I will feed him more bad stuff to fatten him up while I lose weight. We all need to knock someone else down to feel better about ourselves, don’t we? Well, don’t we? Okay, fine, I will not do that to my sweet baby boy……maybe! Oh, and even MORE motivation. One night while standing in the kitchen, my younger son(who weighs less than me because he should since he is only 11) asks me “so Mom, if you lose weight will your butt stay the same size?” I was all, “thanks kiddo, I KNOW I have a big butt” and he was all “no, Mom, not YOU in particular, but people in general.” General…..my big fat ass, general! Who the heck does he think he is dealing with? Does he really believe that I believe he was asking a hypothetical question? I then calmly explained that “in my family” no matter how small we get in other areas, we ALL still have big butts! And for the rest of night I made him feel guilty as hell for calling his Mom a fat ass! I am quite sure he is scarred for life by this, but the boy has to learn that you should NEVER ask “hypothetical” questions about women’s body parts…..ever!

I am not going to tell you my weight so don’t ask, people, that is so rude! I will tell you this, though, I have about 30 pounds I would like to lose over the next 6 months. That is realistic and reasonable. One of the common things I hear about weight loss is the longer it takes, the longer the results. So, although I could starve myself and do an extreme amount of exercise, I won’t. You shouldn’t either…..don’t even think about it!

I am probably a bit psychotic, but I actually like to exercise and being sore afterwards. The feeling of my body actually responding to my hard work is a great thing! I would love to know some of your best ideas or favorite workouts to use when losing weight? Leave me a comment….please leave me a comment! I am begging here. I am pathetic, but I am weak and not thinking clearly from the lack of nutrition in my body due to my weight loss efforts, what can I say?


  1. contacteagle says

    This is hilarious! I'm in the same boat as you! My 8 year old son asks me about my progress in losing weight daily….it's like he thinks he is my personal trainer. I hate that my kids are skinny and tall and that I am short and stumpy. They get there genes from my husband, of course. I'm giving up ice cream and snacks and working out to the Biggest Loser series of DVD's hoping that they will help. I'm not really obese but just need to lose about 50 lbs to get back to how I looked 8 years ago (before the kids). Keep writing! I loved this one! You can find me on facebook (www.facebook.com/MichelleSorensenKemp)and twitter (@kempable). Thanks!

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