I don’t like to force my kids to do anything that they don’t want to do. I prefer to ask questions and have a conversation as to why they feel the way they do because sometimes the reasons are painful and need to be addressed. Sometimes they aren’t, but I feel as a Mom it’s my job to make sure I find out either way. This happened recently when I realized we needed to have the discussion with Nick about riding the school bus home at the end of the day. It would be a fifteen minute ride so it didn’t seem like a huge deal, but it would certainly make a big difference financially because I was basically having to drive his Dad to work each day, which is an hour drive round trip. As you can imagine, I was close to taking out a loan at the bank for our monthly fuel purchases. At nearly four dollars per gallon, I’m hardly kidding.
When I brought it up to Nick, however, I got an immediate negative response. He wanted nothing to do with riding the bus and gave reasons like I don’t have any friends who ride that bus and there will be mean high school kids on there. After talking with him a bit I realized this goes back to elementary school when he was bullied and hit by another child while riding on the school bus. Kids should not be afraid to step onto a school bus and they shouldn’t be worried about being picked on or bullied. These kinds of things leave a lasting imprint, the kind I wished my kids would never experience.
I knew this change needed to happen for the benefit of our family, but I knew I had to get creative if I wanted Nick to feel at ease with it and that I could also feel okay with as I sat at home waiting for him to arrive. I thought about it for a bit and decided to offer what I thought was a great solution. Nick could invite a friend to hang out after school on the first day he attempted to ride the school bus home. He was still a bit apprehensive about it, but eventually I convinced him, maybe nudged him a bit, and we decided on a day and a friend. I held my breath the entire time I knew he’d be on the bus that day. I tried to come up with alternatives that would suit our family’s needs while making sure he was comfortable and safe after school every day. I was really nervous as I ran a few scenarios through my mind, so sure the outcome would not be a good one. I watched from the window as he and his friend walked off the school bus and up to our front door. As soon as he walked through the door I asked how it went, not really sure if I wanted to hear the answer.
I love the bus, Mom, and a few of my friends were on there, too! Go figure.
I let out a sigh of relief and felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders. On that day I felt like I totally won at parenting.
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