Yesterday my family and I went bowling. Pretty normal and fun activity, right? As I was getting ready to leave, it occurred to me that we hadn’t been to this particular bowling alley in seven years, almost to the exact day. (More later on how I’m so sure of the date.) It was where we celebrated Cody’s birthday that year. It was also late November, the 20th to be exact, and definitely a Sunday. We invited family and friends and I remember there was a bowling pin given to him by the bowling alley to take as a gift, there was pizza and maybe french fries. We have pictures from the day, but I don’t even remember it. Well, I barely remember it. I think when we have big life events there are often triggers of the memories that surround them.
Seven years ago at this time we were in the last days of my Dad’s life. Basically waiting for him to die. My Mom insisted we still celebrate Cody’s birthday and that we have the party as planned, but she asked just one thing of me that I’ll never forget. Before I left their home that afternoon to leave for the party she looked at me and said, “please tell your Dad not to go anywhere while you’re gone.” I remember that so clearly and because I knew we were at the point of any day, any moment, he could be gone, I did what she asked. I looked him in the eye (fighting back tears) and firmly said, “don’t you go anywhere while I’m gone.” Thankfully, he didn’t. He’s stubborn like that.
So, yesterday while I bowled with my family, I kept staring toward the end of the lanes where we bowled that day trying to remember it, trying to have a clear memory of the day. I remember my sister-in-law holding my new little one-month-old niece in her arms, I remember my husband in his New England Patriots football jersey, I remember my Nana was there, I remember that my Mom and Dad were not there, but mostly it’s a fog. Most of the next several days were a fog that year.
We had fun bowling yesterday. We scored strikes, and spares and even rolled a few gutter bowls, but mostly, we made new memories in a place that needed them. Yesterday is a day I will remember for a long time. No fog, clearly and with smiles.
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