Dear Daylight Saving: Go Die in a Fire

Funny Coffee Mug

Where’s the petition to end Daylight Saving once and for all? No, seriously. Of all the petitions floating around on the internet that is the one I would rush to sign without even thinking twice. I mean, if it works for Hawaii and Arizona then I’m pretty confident it could work just fine for the rest of us. I’m not sure if it wasn’t as noticeable when I was younger or if it simply takes a rougher toll on me because I’m getting older, but I’ve been tired since noontime yesterday. I’m not even exaggerating and I’m pretty sure I’m also not alone. What’s the point of making us believe we’re gaining an hour of sleep when we can barely function throughout the day while counting down the hours/minute/seconds until bedtime.

Daylight Saving is Fake News

Dear parents of young children, I feel most sorry for you because anyone who has kids knows there is NO EXTRA SLEEP FOR YOU no matter what the calendar on the wall states or what time is glowing on a clock. Our bodies know better and they especially know we’re begin duped. And the kids don’t care because they just want to play and be fed and probably go to bed later than usual just for fun.

You know how someone could make a whole lot of money? A magic coffee bean. I’m not even kidding. It would be a carefully roasted Daylight Saving Blonde Roast produced only twice a year and would sell out in record time and in record numbers. I realize, though, that that kind of perfected caffeine science can take time, so until a coffee genius comes up with the perfect blend I’m going to need my coffee intravenously administered indefinitely.

I write with my left hand so here’s my right one. Poke that needle into my vein and let’s get a drip started STAT, please. And keep those bag refills coming.


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  1. […] it feels like it should be Thursday by now. I really don’t wanna sound whiny, but why does daylight saving time have to kick me in the butt so hard? I didn’t get enough sleep last night, but I started my […]

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